tlug: US Launches Airstrikes on Computer Terrorist Bases (fwd)

[Scott Stone <sstone@example.com>]

--------------------------------------------------
Scott M. Stone <sstone@example.com, sstone@example.com>
               <sstone@example.com>
Head of TurboLinux Development/Systems Administrator
Pacific HiTech, Inc (USA) / Pacific HiTech, KK (Japan)
http://www.pht.com		http://armadillo.pht.co.jp
http://www.pht.co.jp	        http://www.turbolinux.com


---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Sun, 27 Sep 1998 21:59:09 -0700
From: Dave Close <dave@example.com>
Reply-To: UUASC@example.com
To: UUASC@example.com
Subject: US Launches Airstrikes on Computer Terrorist Bases

US Launches Airstrikes on Computer Terrorist Bases

The United States yesterday launched simultaneous military strikes
against terrorist bases in Redmond, Washington and Silicon Valley in a
dramatic retaliation for last week's bombing of the White House
computer system.

President Clinton accused groups linked with William Gates, an
American billionaire who runs one of the world's most powerful
terrorist computer networks, for playing a "key role" in the twin
bombings of the Presidential laptop and the www.whitehouse.gov
webserver.

The US had "compelling information that the Gates group, known as
'Microsoft' had already planned further terrorist attacks against our
citizens," Mr. Clinton said. "Our target was terrorist operating
systems. Our mission was clear. Today, we have struck back."

The laptop bombing erased key email files, including several from an
"mlewinsky@example.com" The machine was apparantly running Windows
98 at the time. "It was horrible, the pain and loss I felt as hours of
work went down the drain," said Clinton, "and that hideous,
meaningless blue screen, with its cryptic, mocking 'error message'
will haunt me forever."

The www.whitehouse.gov webserver, running Windows NT, was reported as
"timed out" to thousands of web surfers last Thursday. The Whitehouse
announced later that day that it had, in fact, "bombed" under a
moderate load. The following day, the CIA announced it had tracked the
fault to a bug so glaringly obvious that even the CIA could find it.
"Obviously, a bug this easy to find had to have been placed
purposely," stated a CIA spokesperson.

The bombings killed hundreds of processes and files, and severed
thousands of HTTP connections. Mr. Clinton foresaw a "long, ongoing
struggle between freedom and fanaticism" but declared: "Terrorists
must have no doubt that in the face of their threat to computer
security, America will protect its own."

Mr. Clinton cut short his Martha's Vineyard holiday to telephone world
leaders and explain why the US had taken unilateral action against the
terrorists. Tony Blair, Prime Minister of England, said last night: "I
strongly support this American action against international computer
terrorists."

Last night Jesse Berst, a spokesman for ZDNet, the Microsoft militia
of the Internet, claimed Mr Gates survived the US attack and said that
the jets appeared to have missed their targets. "Nyah, nyah, nyah,"
said Mr. Berst.

The strikes were launched yesterday at 1.30pm Washington, DC time
against a huge terrorist complex in Redmond, Washington, and against a
Silicon Valley chip manufacturer known only as "Intel. The timing -
10:30am PST was "part of an attempt to minimise collateral damage",
General Hugh Shelton, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, said.
"Real programmers have just gone home to go to bed at that time,
leaving only the pointy-haired bosses."

The Redmond target, 94 miles north of the capital Olympia, is the
centre of Microsoft worldwide operations. The complex, used by groups
affiliated with Gates, includes a base camp, support facilities and
four training sites.

The US was satisfied that Mr Gates was also linked to the "Intel"
facility, Mr Cohen said. "We do know that he had contributed to this
particular facility, we do know that he has an interest in acquiring
buggy computer chips, we know that this facility produces the
precursor chips which would allow the production of Windows computers
- that was enough of a connection for us." He added: "We have been
planning this for several days."
-- 
Dave Close, Compata, Costa Mesa CA  "Politics is the business of getting
dave@example.com, +1 714 434 7359    power and privilege without
dhclose@example.com           possessing merit." - P. J. O'Rourke
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