Humor Part 2

[george@example.com]

>Pilot coming into Seattle

< snip >

>The passengers are amazed and one asks how he did it.  "Simple," 
>replies
>the pilot, "I asked the guy in that building a simple question.  The
>answer he gave me was 100 percent correct but absolutely useless,
>therefore that must be Microsoft's support office and from there the
>airport is just five miles away."

    :-)  :-)  :-)

    ... now allow me to contribute this one. ' got this from the
Red Hat mailing list. Enjoy!  :-)

-----



Windows 95 Source Code 

                                 TOPSECRET!!! 


Read it carefully, it should help your C-coding ability, a lot! 


From: Rootje & Lexje
     Look what we've intercepted from Microsoft after a week of hard 
hacking their computer system: 

                 Microsoft marketing strategy (MARKET.EXE): 



 
                       Win_95_Market.c
 *********************************************************************
 
      #include 
      #include 
      #include  /* Microsoft Network Connectivity library */
      #include  /* For the court of law */
 
      #define say(x) lie(x)
      #define computeruser ALL_WANT_TO_BUY_OUR_BUGWARE
      #define next_year soon
      #define the_product_is_ready_to_ship   another_beta_version
 
      void main()
      {
        if (latest_window_version>one_month_old)
        {
          if (there_are_still_bugs)
            market(bugfix);
          if (sales_drop_below_certain_point)
            raise(RUMOURS_ABOUT_A_NEW_BUGLESS_VERSION);
        }
        while(everyone_chats_about_new_version)
        {
          make_false_promise(it_will_be_multitasking); /* Standard Call,
                                                               in lie.h */
 
          if (rumours_grow_wilder)rs, why_does_it_not_work);
             pretend(there_is_no_problem);
             break;
           case WHAT_ARE_MINIMAL_HARDWARE_REQUIREMENTS:
             say("It will run on a 8086 with lightning speed due to"
                 " the 32 bits architecture");
             inform(INTEL, "Pentium sales will rise skyhigh");
             inform(SAMSUNG, "Start a new memorychip plant"
                    "'cos all those customers will need at least 32 megs");
             inform(QUANTUM, "Thanks to our fatware your sales will triple");
             get_big_bonus(INTEL, SAMSUNG, QUANTUM);
             break;
           case DOES_MICROSOFT_GET_TOO_MUCH_INFLUENCE:
            say("Oh no, we are just here to make a better world for everyone");
             register(journalist, Big_Bill_Book);
             when(time_is_ripe)
             {
               arrest(journalist);
               port_installation_problems)
          {
            say("that is a hardware problem, not a software problem");
            if (smart_customer_says_but_you_promised_plug_and_play)
            {
              ignore(customer);
              order(microsoft_intelligence_agency, "Keep an eye on this
                                         _bill_look_like_poor_bastard);
        buy(nice_little_island);
        hire(harem);
        laugh_at(everyone,
        
for_having_the_patience_year_after_year_for_another_unfinished_version);
      }
 
 
      void bugfix(void)
      {
        charge (a_lot_of_money)
        if (customer_says_he_does_not_want_to_pay_for_bugfix)
          say("It is not a bugfix but a new version");
        if (still_complaints)
        {
          ignore(customer);
          register(customer, big_Bill_book);
          /* We'll get him when everyone uses Billware!!*/
        }
      }



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$@%8%g!<%8(J $@%@!<%Q%H(J      George M. Dapat II        
$@%=%K!<(J($@example.com(J)             Sony Corporation
$@>pJs%7%9%F%`%;%s%?!<(J
$@%7%9%F%`%^%M%8%a%s%HIt%M%C%H%o!<%/2](J

TEL : 045-338-4173$@!!(JFAX : 045-338-5745
E-mail : george@example.com

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