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- Subject: tlug: humour: Win98 source code
- From: Tim Meggs <tim@example.com>
- Date: Fri, 17 Jul 1998 11:04:09 +0900
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I probably shouldn't fwd this to the list, but it made me chuckle this morn so I will ....... see you at tengu tim:) > > Source Code for Windows 98 > > > > /* > > TOP SECRET Microsoft(c) Code > > Project: Chicago(tm) > > Projected release-date: Summer 1998 > > */ > > > > #include "win31.h" > > #include "win95.h" > > #include "evenmore.h" > > #include "oldstuff.h" > > #include "billrulz.h" > > #define INSTALL = HARD > > > > char make_prog_look_big[1600000]; > > void main() > > { > > while(!CRASHED) > > { > > display_copyright_message(); > > display_bill_rules_message(); > > do_nothing_loop(); > > if (first_time_installation) > > { > > make_50_megabyte_swapfile(); > > do_nothing_loop(); > > totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system(); > > search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2(); > > hang_system(); > > } > > > > write_something(anything); > > display_copyright_message(); > > do_nothing_loop(); > > do_some_stuff(); > > > > if (still_not_crashed) > > { > > display_copyright_message(); > > do_nothing_loop(); > > basically_run_windows_3.1(); > > do_nothing_loop(); > > do_nothing_loop(); > > } > > } > > > > if (detect_cache()) > > disable_cache(); > > > > if (fast_cpu()) > > { > > set_wait_states(lots); > > set_mouse(speed, very_slow); > > set_mouse(action, jumpy); > > set_mouse(reaction, sometimes); > > } > > > > /* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */ > > /* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */ > > printf("Welcome to Windows 98"); > > if (system_ok()) > > crash(to_dos_prompt); > > else > > system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE); > > > > while(something) > > { > > sleep(5); > > get_user_input(); > > sleep(5); > > act_on_user_input(); > > sleep(5); > > } > > create_general_protection_fault(); > > } -------------------------------------------------------------- Next Nomikai: 17 July, 19:30 Tengu TokyoEkiMae 03-3275-3691 Next Meeting: 8 August, Tokyo Station Yaesu central gate 12:30 featuring Linux on multiple platforms: i386, Sparc, PA-Risc, Amiga, SGI, Alpha, PalmPilot, ... -------------------------------------------------------------- Sponsor: PHT, makers of TurboLinux http://www.pht.co.jp
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