Re: [tlug] [OT] Raising a geek (was: Interesting Hans Reiser article in Wired)

["Josh Glover" <jmglov@example.com>]

On 16/07/07, Stephen J. Turnbull <stephen@example.com> wrote:

> Josh Glover writes:
>
>  > [Tell him] that other kids who are not themselves different are
>  > jealous of his intelligence.
>
> No, they're not.  They may envy his grades (or the preschool
> equivalent), but I doubt they envy him.  The point is that unless a
> person is already different in this way, they simply don't understand
> it well enough to want more of it than they already have.  It's a
> qualitative difference, not a quantitative one.

Hrm... not quite sure I buy this. I think that the reason people pick
on those who are different is some desire, whether conscious or
subconscious, to be different themselves. Having said that, though...

> So don't ever tell him that.  There are two ways it can turn out, IMO,
> both bad: (1) he'll realize they aren't jealous of *him* though they
> may want his grades or whatever, and lose some trust in your judgment,
> or (2) he'll believe you, and attribute such twisted motives to people
> inappropriately, leading to a cascade of rationalizations about how
> they are lying to themselves.

This is probably good advice.

> The important thing IMO and in my personal experience[1] is to make
> sure he knows you love him, and that you want to share *his* world
> with him (not *your* world with him, at least not until he's sure you
> care about his world).

I completely agree.

> If you can find other kids like him, so that
> they can share their worlds with each other, that would be good too.

Yes, but there is at least some element of luck in this.

> Footnotes:
> [1]  Although as far as I know I was merely smart (too smart for my
> own good often enough), not a genius.

Me too. I'm smart enough to know how dumb I am. :)

--
Cheers,
Josh