[tlug] FW: Technical Support Required

["Mauro Sauco" <sauco@example.com>]

A bit of nice humor ... (sorry to those who knows it)

Dear Technical Support,

18 months ago, I upgraded to GirlFriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2,
which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are
apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution
was to try and run GirlFriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.  To make
matters worse, GirlFriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other
applications, such as BoysNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9.
Successive versions of GirlFriend proved no better.  I tried a shareware
program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my
system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.
Eventually, I tried to run GirlFriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same
time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other,
they caused severe damage to my hardware. I eventually upgraded to
Fiancee 1.0, only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded
fur! ther to Wife 1.0.  While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available
resources, it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus and Cleanhouse2004.
Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very
unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically
stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted.  They then
resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them.  Wife 1.0 also
has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail Filter, and can, without
warning, launch TurboStrop and Whinge. These latter products have no
Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is.  Additional
problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring ShoeShop
Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be
reinstalled every other week.  Wife 1.0 also spawns unwelcome child
processes that drain my resources. These conflict with some of the new
games I wanted to try out, warning me that they are an illegal
operation.  Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Audi TT hard
drive, it often crashes. Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up
called Mother-In-Law, which can't be turned off.  Recently I've been
tempted to install Mistress 2003, but there could be problems. A friend
of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress
2003; it tends to delete all of your Money before uninstalling itself.
Any ideas?