[tlug] Contest - Name that Linux distro!

["SL Baur" <steve@example.com>]

[This is really a contest and there really are prizes, I promise].

I've always been content with Linux on the desktop, but now
that I've convinced my employer to allow me to wipe the viruses[1]
off the machines they've assigned me, I find myself in somewhat of
a quandry.

The official corporate Linux is R-HEL[2] 4 with some modifications to fit
into the local corporate structure.  It is of course, broken.  Badly.
R-HEL 4 isn't exactly a user-friendly distro when used as directed
either.

Figuring that might be the case, I stashed away extra space on the
disk where I could install an alternate O/S.  And now, after spending
the better part of a week getting the builtin wireless support in
2.6.25 to work with the ancient R-HEL 4 userland, I need a better
solution.  I Must Have a modern Linux distro to work with.

[I'm getting to the prizes part, keep reading]

My requirements are as follows:

1. The distro must be package managed.  I've had too much
experience at Turbolinux with RPM compared to ad-hoc system
management to expect anything else.  If a file in a system directory
isn't tracked by the package manager, that is a bug.

2. I prefer RPM based systems over apt based systems based on
past experience.   Let's not talk about Storm Linux, or maybe
someone should.

3. Sadly, I will require some Microsoft Windows compatibility.  I
require decent sound support and I *must* be able to spend lunch
hours grinding level 70 daily quests in World of Warcraft (which
works fine with recent versions of Wine, I am told, but building such
a version is way beyond the capabilities of an ancient userland like
R-HEL 4).

4. The two target systems are too very recent, Lenovo T60 and an
HP desktop box, and they are both running Linux at this time.  I just
want them to run *better*.  The Lenovo successfully ran WoW
when it was being controlled by vampires.

5. I'm not an extremist and half-commercial solutions are O.K. but
you better make those fast.  I'm going to stop being on contract
soon and go to regular employee and if I buy something for work
while on contract I can deduct it from my taxes.

6. None of the requirements are written in stone (except for WoW)
but explanations of *why* are definitely required.

I'm interested in hearing suggestions based on the above.

The grand prize winner will have his or her name placed in the
/etc/motd file on that machine with surrounding text to be agreed
upon.

Runner up prizes will include autographed copies of the XEmacs
Programmer's manual and autographed copies of the GPL v2.
Special prizes may be awarded for most humorous entries or
anything else I deem prize-worthy.

(This is not a joke and this is the last time that I will ever ask for
suggestions on what Linux distro to install).

[1]  I'm referring of course to Microsoft Windows XP and Microsoft
Windows 2000.

[2] Hello Steve!