Re: [tlug] [OT] Raising a geek (was: Interesting Hans Reiser article in Wired)

["Stephen J. Turnbull" <stephen@example.com>]

Keith Bawden writes:
 > On 7/16/07, Josh Glover <jmglov@example.com> wrote:

 > > Hrm... not quite sure I buy this. I think that the reason people pick
 > > on those who are different is some desire, whether conscious or
 > > subconscious, to be different themselves. Having said that, though...
 > 
 > How about fear as a reason, or inbred <insert variety of> hatred, or
 > the desire to belong to a larger group (usually motivated by fear of
 > being alone or being treated as the loner is)...

I can go with either of those.  My point is simply that for a child,
telling him that others are envious of him is going to be interpreted
as envious of *him*, *personally*, and you probably don't want to go
there unless you believe he needs to deal with that specifically.  We
want to teach them to relate to others "as those others are", as well
as "as you (the special child) are".  He should be comfortable with
and take pride in himself, but he also will interact more effectively
(and pleasantly) if he is comfortable with others, as themselves.
Implying he needs to find out who they are!

That's why I resonated so strongly with Josh's comment about "it's a
game you must play", because it focuses on interacting with others
whose goals are different from, and often conflict with, yours.